What a week in the world of music — full of the tragic and the pathetic.
The loss of Luciano Pavarotti was a terrible blow to the world.
For tens of millions of people, he symbolized the world of opera.
Music critics and aficionados will argue for the ages over who was the best tenor. It will come down to personal taste and differences of minutiae over this performance or that one.
To me, Pavorotti will always be the world’s greatest tenor. His technique, charisma and willingness to take musical chances exposed hundreds of millions of people to an art form that they would have ignored or thought boring.
Pavarotti was the world’s best-selling classical artist, with sales of more than 100 million records. The Maestro also had the first classical album to reach No. 1 on the pop charts.
He definitely set a standard none will ever match.
Also in tragic news: Ozzy Osbourne is not going away.
I know this because 14 years after he announced his retirement, his new single is called “Not Going Away.”
He repeats the title about 742 times during the song, by my rough estimate. Coincidentally, this is about how many times a day you hear him on Valley radio. Tell the truth, does anybody really ever need to hear “Crazy Train” ever again?
The lyrics of the new single do present a puzzler.
“I’m not going away, I’m not going,
“Say goodbye forever, I’ll wait for you in no-man’s land.”
Now I’m confused. This seems to say he’s going to “no-man’s land,” but he says he’s not going anywhere. Is this no-man’s land? Does it only exist in Ozzy’s mind, or what little is left of his gray matter?
Maybe he is just too deep for us to understand.
Ozzy became a joke to me a long, long time ago. Do we really want to see a man near 60 stumbling about the stage in eyeliner with his beer gut hanging out?
Speaking of beer guts, that brings us to Britney Spears.
Poor Britney, everybody says she’s fat after her showing at the MTV Awards on Sunday. That woman is not fat. Her body is not like it was at 18, but she’s 25 and has had two kids.
And let’s admit it, ladies: her body at 25 is better than most 18-year-olds.
Of course, we do keep her to a higher standard. With a career built on sex appeal, it’s part of her job to look more than just good.
While I have no problem with her having a little jiggle to her wiggle, what is truly not acceptable is her terrible performance at the awards show.
With an estimated net worth of $100 million, she can afford to take a year off and figure out what she really wants to do in life.
Rapper 50 Cent may be taking the rest of his life off.
Both he and rival Kanye West released new albums on Tuesday. “Fitty” has vowed that if Kanye sells more albums this week than he does, 50 Cent will retire.
Early industry estimates put West way ahead. But it’s hard to choose between an admitted drug dealer and an egomaniac as to who I’d rather see gone.
As long as the loser takes Ozzy with them, I’ll be happy.
